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It has often been said that poetry and art are the most soulful mechanisms to express oneself. That being said, I find that the best way I can communicate with Zia is often through poems. Shorts one, more lengthy ones and sometimes just a line which describes the way I feel at that point in time.

The Cracked Jar
The jar which was once full is now cracked in the most awkward places,

It doesnít really matter what is put in or at what rate, it simply dizzles out seconds later,

It stains the table cloth it is placed on and the beautiful mahogany table beneath it,

The jar is Unquestionably and most evidently flawed,

It is no longer a sight for the eye to behold,

Instead it lies on the mantelpiece mostly untouched,

Its character altered and its destiny unknown,

The jar is now cracked in the most awkward places,
It can hold only as much as the crack will allow and that too for a time not known,

That jar is me.
© My Little Light Zia

With and Without You
My new life has you in it but I cant see you,

My new life is that of experience, its one of anguish,

My new life is one of scars that are deeper than the eye can see,

My new life is one of endless tears,

My new life is one of no tears too, the numbing dreadfullness of it all,

My new life has you in it, it always will but its one of yearning,

My new life is full of aching arms, aching hearts and torn souls,

My new eyes cannot see girl babies without feeling sick,

My new ears cannot block out the dreadful screams of newborns,

Its my life,

My life with and without you.

© My Little Light Zia

If Only

If you had asked for my heart,

I would have given it to you,

Without a thought,

Without a doubt,

It would have been yours,

It would have beat for you,

It would have lived for you,

If only you had asked,

I wouldve gone to the moon and back,

I wouldve,

If only

© My Little Light Zia

After Zia died, people often say that I should try again or ask if we are going to. 

I like to believe their comments come from a good place but unfortunately it isnít welcome right now. 

I wrote this after being asked that one to many times. My daughter wasnít an accident, she was a much loved and much needed baby. She will always be my Zia, my second child and my only daughter.

Try again

It implies that before doesnt matter anymore,

it implies that I must move forward,

it implies that I must count my losses,

it implies that she was a gamble,

she could have stayed but had to go,
it implies that i didnt try hard enough,

it implies that she didnt matter,

it implies that she can be replaced,

it implies that I have failed.

© My Little Light Zia

I'm alone

The world came tumbling down around me,

the impact of it I feel in my soul,

there is only darkness, there is only confusion,

no matter where I turn, I am desolate,

I am hanging now by a thread of uncertainty,

shadows no longer walk alongside me, they threathen to devour me,

the weight of it all is overwhelming,

the questions are endless, it's too much to bear

I turn to the light but it is no longer there,

it has disappeared,

I've realised what it's like to be abandoned.

© My Little Light Zia

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